Conversation starters and sharing memories

Questions to start with

Ask about the things people tend to love talking about. Follow wherever the answer goes.

• Home and family

  • Where did you grow up?
  • What was your street like?
  • Who did you spend your time with as a child?

• Work and skills

  • What was your first job?
  • What were you proud of?
  • What could you do that nobody else could?

• Food and music

  • What did you cook for special occasions?
  • What song takes you straight back?
  • What was on the radio at home?

• Places and travel

  • Where's the best place you've been?
  • Where did you go on holidays?
  • Which place would you go back to?

• Right now

  • What's in the garden at the moment?
  • What are you enjoying watching or reading?
  • What would you like to do this week?

Things to share together

• A photo album, with the stories behind the pictures.
• A favourite record, radio program or song.
• An old recipe, cooked together.
• A map of the places they've lived or travelled.
• A box of keepsakes, postcards or letters.
• A favourite book or newspaper column, read aloud.

Tips for good conversation

• Ask one question at a time, and leave room for the answer.
• Follow where they take it. It's fine to hear a story twice.
• Let a quiet moment be comfortable.
• Use the name they like to be called.
• If a topic upsets them, change gently: a cuppa, a walk, a different photo.
• Ask about now as well as then.